I feel so alone…. I don’t have a dependable friend group or friends at all, I’m always second to everyone else, whenever the person I’m talking or walking with sees someone else they know they leave me hanging without even a goodbye. I never get invited to anything. I don’t know what to do. People always say you’ll find your group or person, but I still haven’t, or they argue I need to put myself out there, but I just can’t it’s too scary…. Help, what should I do????”

Sometimes the desire to fit in or befriend a certain social group can prevent you from finding your own group!  Remember to keep an open mind; you never know where you can find a good friend.  In order to branch out, try talking to different people in your class.  You can start conversations by asking simple questions about the latest discussion or homework.  You may be surprised how easy it is to form bonds with your classmates.  Additionally, most of the people in the school are friendly and want to be inclusive. Everyone at one point has felt alone, and will be more than happy to include others, including you!

Perhaps, you need to put yourself out there.  We know this can be scary; maybe you do not feel wanted or comfortable pushing yourself into other people’s social events. But, you may need to push your boundaries by asking to hang out with someone.  By making close connections with one person, you may be pulled into his or her larger group.  And once you broaden your reach, spend time with this new group, and repeatedly assert your place within it, you will become more included in that group’s activities.

You can also meet new people by joining clubs. They provide excellent opportunities to get to know others both inside and outside of the school building.  They offer you predetermined social events after school and on the weekends.

While we understand that it’s frustrating not to have a concrete friend group, we also want to remind you how powerful it can be to be a “floater.”  In some ways, you are better than the people who cling to their groups.  You have a clear sense of yourself.  Don’t feel like you need a “clique;” the power that comes with self-assurance and confidence can be more satisfying than you think.

Xx, Nick & Rose