Study Guide for Navigating the DMV

Before every annoyingly cocky driver is an innocent kid who has yet to pass the written learner’s permit test. Many people think that the most important item to check off the list leading up to your permit test is to study the material in the New York DMV study guide. But we wise Maroon journalists realize that this is not the case. Leading up to the permit test, it is less important to know how to navigate the road and more important to know how to navigate the DMV. Here is the extremely important DMV study guide which will give you all the pertinent information for navigating the DMV experience.

What does this sign mean?

1. Approach door with caution, be prepared to wait
2. Life is a meaningless rollercoaster and everybody gets off eventually… I guess what I’m trying to say is maybe this won’t be that bad?
3. Who’s to say really?
4. You are entering the Department of Motor Vehicles

Which of the following behaviors is prohibited in the DMV?

1. Small talk with a stranger
2. That smiling thing
3. Cutting the line
4. Holding up the line
5. Being in the wrong line
6. Pulling up next to the person who is holding up the line, flipping them off, then taking a left turn to cut in front of them in line

Which of the following is considered an acceptable amount of alcohol for entering the DMV?

1. 12 oz of beer
2. 5 oz of wine
3. 1.5 oz of hard liquor
4. 12 oz of hard liquor; you’ll need it

A man is sitting on the chair next to you, but his right buttock is clearly over the line separating the two chairs. You should…

1. Make one loud, distinct “honk” noise in his right ear
2. Push the man
3. Throw some kind of treat to get him to move
4. Passive-aggressively say “Boy, it’s crowded in here…”

QUICK! Your number has been called up to a counter. You should…

1. Bail
2. Stick it out. You’ve come this far already
3. Approach the counter and ask the employee, “Hi, how may I help you today?” It won’t get you out of there faster, but it will throw Satan’s minions off their game
4. Stay calm, cool, and collected. Don’t give them the satisfaction.

It’s time to take your photo. You should…

1. Make sure your hair looks good
2. Smile for the camera
3. Make a straight face for the camera
4. The photo was already taken while you were deciding. NEXT.

Once you’ve completed the practice quiz, check your answers against the answer key.

ANSWER KEY:

Every single answer choice is correct